Thursday, December 24, 2009

a very regrated thing = the weak ME!

if i did not appear at that time at that place things will not happen....
if I was not there I will not have thing that I should not have and lost it....
if I did not lost it what will come next?
is next is my future?

Why do I do this to me?
Why do I let myself do this?
Why do I let others do this to me?
Why can't I stop it even though I know I should?
Why can't I move on?
Why do I stay on the same ground?
Why do I let myself suffer?
Why can't I face the real me?
Why do I hide from myself????

Loving myself first before loving anyone or being love by someone... I understand this theory but I can't do it anymore. I don't like myself so much that my friend can see that now. I am not the Chewy I am use to be. Not tough and strong anymore. I am just a weak loser now. So weak that I am losing myself to my weaknesses. I don't think I can keep going anymore.

But there is nothing I can do right now... but to let it go and forget about it! not possible but is it almost the end of the year... a new year going to start, hoping everything can be better and going smooth

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